Waters figures apparently 'pulled from anus'

This John Waters thing has gone far enough, though our thanks go to Tuppenceworth for embarrassing 'Fanny' Waters in about as many ways as possible without actually giving him a wedgie [listen to mp3], the Newstalk segment made for excruciating listening.

Not having a single original opinion himself, Waters comically blustered on endlessly about other people's books and articles, paraphrasing them in a most inarticulate and confusing fashion, in the vain hope that his second-hand arguments might win the day.

I was intrigued by this 'vertical vs. horizontal' theory he mentioned, but only because of its cool name, since I wasn't given a clue from Waters explanation as to what it might be about.

Waters obsession with porn surfaced as he mentioned that 'greatest [online] growth industry is auto-eroticism.' This struck me as very odd, since a great many other trends have gone from zero to hero in the last ten years (auctions, social networking, streaming video, blogging[!], social bookmarking, to name but a million) but porn has been around since day one and probably peaked about 1998!

I was also struck by Waters assertion the the internet was '60 to 70%' porn, which itself was a 'well-known fact' according to the great sage. When challenged to cite his sources for this number, Waters responded dismissively and ridiculously:

'How do you back up statistics other than say what is known in the public arena?'

Yes, read that again. It's a verbatim quote.

Welcome to the Irish Times school of journalism? Say it aint so! But, I wondered to myself, not being a real journalist or Op-Ed hack, how does one check a statistic? So I did a couple of minutes lazy searching (without stumbling across any porn somehow) and found this:


A study by Philip B. Stark, a professor of statistics at the University of California, Berkeley, has found that pornography accounts for just one percent of all webpages.

Open and shut case, I'd say. You can read about it here. Or even read the full study online [.pdf file].

But I also found out that Dr Stark roasts his own coffee beans, drives a Vespa, is an ultra-marathon runner and looks like this:


Didn't find any porn on his homepage either, pretty hard to find these days. He seems like a pretty cool guy, though. I reckon I'll trust his guess over Waters' any day. Gee, isn't the internet great?

Here's an idea, since John claims he 'never reads' blogs, and obviously doesn't have much to do with the internet anyway, I say we start a campaign to block him from the interwebs completely. If we force him to remain within the dusty old print media, he will probably do less harm to the planet.

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