It's simply NOT there, Bock (an open letter)

Dear Mr Bock:

So you call yourself a Chris DeBurgh connoisseur, eh? (editor: actually, he doesn't).

During a recent evening's debauchery (during which the whole Bearcats! thing came up), you mentioned that Chris DeBurgh's Lady in Red was insipid, maudlin, and wholly without merit. So far so good, no argument there.

But what really activated your gag reflex, you said, was the disembodied and uncredited female voice at the end that replies 'I love you too' when Chris whispers his love to her.

As a musician, this was really unsettling to Mr Darwin, since he'd heard the song exactly six-point-three billion times and never noticed it before.

I am happy to report, after MUCH CAREFUL SCRUTINY, that the said voice does not exist [check it here]. And thank Christ for that.

Thus, knowing the reputation of my shrewd ear remains untarnished, I am able to sleep a little easier.

As for Mr Bock, you can now safely listen to this vapid, tedious ordure, in the full confidence that when you gag (and you will) it will be because of the song itself, rather than the affirmation of Chris's ghostly lover (or nanny?).

No thanks are necessary, exercising my duty in public service is reward enough.

Yours etc.,

Mr Darwin, esq.

[for masochists, video here]