Some fishy tales in Olympic waters
You might have heard this one. If so I apologise, but it's certainly news to me–and it's juicy, involving a big name, a flashy occasion, and some conspiracy at the highest levels.
Perhaps it's a failing, or maybe it really doesn't matter in the great scheme of things, but I'm not a sport watcher. While it's true that I sometimes play soccer or squash, and I quite like running, I positively do not watch any sports on television.
However I did manage to stumble across the opening ceremony of the Olympics. I'm sure you've heard the litany of revelations that have followed this event.
- The cute girl was miming for a buck-toothed singer backstage
- Some of the fireworks were created by computer generated images
- The ladies who lead the athletes onto the field were selected by height and forced to strip naked during interviews
- All the music for the national anthems was pirated from Peter Breiner's 2004 arrangements
- The 900 hidden operators who worked the giant scroll were in place for seven hours and had to wear nappies
- The children supposedly representing China's 55 ethnic groups were all from the Han majority
And my favourite: you may have wondered as I did, how the 2,200 Tai Chi practitioners managed such uniformity in their synchronised routine. Well, the answer is much simpler than CGI.
The performers were 'sequestered' in army barracks for almost a year practising 16 hours a day. See? Easy when you know how it's done.
But that's not why I called you here today. The best shocker I've heard yet is from the games themselves; it's the Phelps/Omega conspiracy. In a nutshell the theory goes like this: Michael Phelps lost the 100m butterfly to Milorad Cavic (as expected) but his corporate sponsors Omega, also official timekeepers, determined that Phelps won by 0.01 sec.
As a disclaimer I should add that Michael Phelps is of course one of the worlds greatest ever athletes, and he has certainly achieved more in his field than I could ever hope to in mine, so I am not for a second endorsing this odd claim.
However, I really do LOVE a good conspiracy.